I've been thinking way too much lately. Overthinking. Probably my last post is a symptom of that. But lots of other things have been on my mind, too.
I made the mistake of getting a book about blogging from the library on Tuesday. Even more since I started this blog, I've been really fascinated by the "evolution" of blogs and their importance/consequences for the rest of the internet. I generally think they're a pretty remarkable connectivity/marketing/time-wasting tool. Whatever that means.
Anyway, I learned that there several reasons that my blog will never be successful. Nevermind that I never intended for it to be successful or to be read by more than me and my closest family. The more I read about what a blog needs to be to reach large numbers of readers, the more I knew that my blog would never do that. Despite my lack of ambition, being told that I would not succeed made me disappointed. Made me wonder why I bother with my blog if no one is ever going to read it.
All day yesterday, I was hit by this funk of overthinking it. It started with my blog, but soon I was overthinking about all the things that get me most anxious: finding a job, following through on my running program, the prospect of buying a house. I ruined a perfectly good game of raquetball with my husband and didn't want to deal with the drama of deciding what to make for dinner so we ordered pizza.
Today, I'm feeling a lot more relaxed. The advantage of hindsight has helped me see that a blog is a silly thing to worry about. And that the rest of my wallowing was not warranted either. I just let the worrying train gain momentum.
So here I go to make a warm, healthy, dinner and spend the night curled up with my family watching a movie. I'm ready to give the happy, healthy train some momentum.
4 days ago